On Spirituality of aging Part 2

Several years ago, I read a book by a social worker who helped patients in a hospice prepare for death. In many cases her job boiled down to helping the patients sort through their lives and do the work of assessment. Sometimes she might help them identify projects that would enrich their lives and help them bring the project to completion before they died. For example, in one case the patient needed to reconcile with his brother over an argument they had many years ago. In other cases, it was simply listening as the patient told his or her life story. Other times, it meant writing down what she heard or asking the patient questions that would dig deeper and help him or her understand some of the implications of what was said.

This idea of assessing one’s life is implied in the Christian understanding of the personal judgment that each of us experiences upon death. This is the idea that upon death we experience an assessment of our life that determines our immediate future prior to the Last Judgment. The quality of our life is weighed, and we move on to heaven, hell or purgatory.

One of my favorite television shows in recent years is a comedy called “The Good Place”. It is about four souls who died and wake to find themselves in the next world. They believe that they are in heaven but in reality, they are in hell. They are subjected to subtle psychological torture. Yet, instead of breaking them, the trials they endure help them to rely upon one another and transform them into better people over time. This past season it was revealed in the show that almost no one got into heaven because life on Earth is so messy that it is almost impossible to be good enough for heaven. No matter how good a life that we attempt to live there is always something that keeps us from perfection.

I mention this, not just to plug a favorite TV show, but because it captures a feeling that is real and very common. Most of us have a decent perception of ourselves, both our strengths and our failings. We hope that the good we do will outweigh the bad, but knowledge of our failings undermines our confidence. We perceive our selfishness, anger, lust, envy, laziness, falsehoods and are keenly aware that we fall short of perfection. It is this self-knowledge that makes the idea of purgatory so compelling because it provides an opportunity to learn and grow even after we move on to the next world. In many respects, “The Good Place” is an illustrated argument in favor of purgatory.

An important point however is that purgatory is only a continuation of the task of spiritual growth that begins here on Earth. The task of assessing the quality of one’s life while still in this world makes sense, as we can make adjustments in how we live from day to day and begin the transformation process, especially if we are disappointed with certain aspects of our life. There is no one way to undertake this self-assessment. There are many ways that this can be accomplished.

One approach would be to write an autobiography. The narrative doesn’t need to be extremely detailed and worthy of publication. Rather, it needs to identify turning points and key relationships in one’s life. What shaped you into the person that you are today? Where was God in these events and relationships? Any good story has a plot line or a story arc that plays out over the duration of the story. What is the plot or the arc of your life story?