The Diocese of Chalan Kanoa is planning to start the formation process for another group of deacon candidates in the near future. In preparation for the formation program, I thought it would be a good idea to dedicate a few issues of Along the Way to the topic. Since I’m writing about the diaconate, it seemed appropriate to share my personal vocation story. I’ve told this story before in Along the Way but I thought I’d share it again as an introduction to my extended reflection on the Permanent Diaconate.
I grew up in a Catholic family. Both my mother and father were cradle Catholics. I have early memories of family prayer, being taken to Mass every Sunday, pictures of saints around the house and all the markers of a traditional Catholic family in the 1950’s and 1960’s. We lived almost across the street from our parish church, so that it was a dominant part of the environment in which I grew up. I attended the same parish school my father had attended and eventually went to one of the Catholic high schools in the city. I even had a cousin who was a Carmelite nun and a great-uncle who was a Monsignor and pastor of a parish in Kansas. We weren’t overly pious, just average Catholics living and functioning in a Catholic immigrant culture that was rapidly being assimilated into mainstream America.
As a child I loved Bible stories and would play at being a priest. In school religion was one of my favorite classes and I usually got excellent grades for that course. When I was in the 8th grade I wanted to attend a high school seminary and begin studies to be a priest. This goal was thwarted by my parents, who felt I was too young to make such a decision. I wasn’t allowed to attend a high school seminary, but they did send me to a regular Catholic high school. When I was in 12th grade I considered joining the religious community of brothers that ran my high school but again my parents felt I was too young. They convinced me to wait until after college. If I waited, then they would not oppose my decision to join a religious order or go to a seminary. So, I agreed to wait.
I attended a state college, which was the first non-Catholic educational institution I had ever attended. Many of my professors were blatantly secular in their orientation. They challenged my assumptions and beliefs. They questioned everything and got me thinking in similar terms. By my sophomore year of college my childhood faith was in tatters. I struggled with the most basic articles of faith; does God exist? Over the next few years I wrestled with what was left of my faith, slowly built up a more adult and reasoned faith, and explored a range of religious belief. Eventually I came back to the Church and identified myself as a Catholic. My faith was more mature and was real for me, not just a cultural artifact that I received from my parents.
In the meantime I had graduated college, worked for several years as a juvenile probation officer, spent two years in Peace Corps (a year on Chuuk and a year on Saipan), gotten married, spent another year back on the mainland, had a child, worked for the Criminal Justice Planning Agency on Guam for two years, earned a master’s degree from the University of Guam and returned to Saipan to work for the CNMI Criminal Justice Planning Agency. I was an active Catholic at the time, attending daily Mass when I was able, and serving as a reader at Sunday Mass and then as a Eucharistic Minister. I was also helping Msgr. Camacho with a few Catholic Social Services (later Karidat) related projects.
One Saturday I was reading the religion section of the PDN. There was an article about the diaconate on Guam that caught my attention. The more I read, the more intrigued I was. The diaconate seemed perfect for me. The article was a report on an interview of a UOG chaplain, who mentioned the diaconate. I noted the name of the chaplain and decided to visit the person the next time work took me to Guam. The following month I was on Guam and went over to the UOG campus to speak with the chaplain. I obtained a good deal of information from the chaplain and decided to talk about it with Msgr. Camacho when I had the chance.
Msgr. Camacho was very supportive of my interest in the diaconate and suggested that I write a letter to the bishop asking to be considered for formation as a deacon. I put the letter together and sent it off. A month or so later I received a response from the bishop thanking me for my interest and explaining that there was a moratorium on preparing new deacons at the time but that I would be kept in mind when they started a new formation group. I was disappointed but figured that it was not the time yet. So, I did a lot of reading in theology, took a few distance learning courses in theology, prayed and waited. About a year later, I brought up the idea with Msgr. Camacho again. He suggested that I write another letter to the bishop but that this time he would deliver it and argue on my behalf. So, another letter was written, given to Msgr. Camacho and off he went to speak with the bishop about a week later. When he got back to Saipan, he had good news. The bishop told him to work out a formation plan with me that met all of the requirements of the USCCB directory on the Permanent Diaconate and send the plan on to him. If he was satisfied with the plan, he would give us permission to begin formation according to the plan. Of course, Msgr. Camacho would be the one responsible for my formation as a deacon.
We put together a formation plan and sent it off to the bishop. He approved it and for the next three years I worked under the mentorship of a variety of priests, took courses with the Mercedarian novices at the Mother house in Chalan Kanoa, took distance learning courses, did a mountain of assigned reading, served in a variety of ministries, took part in Marriage Encounter and several retreats and went through the formation plan that had been laid out and approved. We did it in three years because at that time the requirement for deacon formation was a three-year program. Since then the requirement has been expanded to five years.
I was ordained as a deacon for the Diocese of Agaña on September 24, 1984. Two months after my ordination as a deacon, Msgr. Camacho was informed that the Northern Mariana Islands were being separated from the Diocese of Agaña and would be the Diocese of Chalan Kanoa. He was selected to be the first bishop of this new diocese. Since I was residing in the Diocese of Chalan Kanoa, my affiliation would be with the new diocese rather than Agaña. Thus, began some thirty-five years and counting of diaconal ministry on my part. It has not always been easy nor pleasant, but I have never regretted the decision to pursue the diaconate. Is the Lord calling you to the diaconate? Let’s explore that possibility over the next few weeks.
