We have the power to build a healthy marriage by offering our spouse encouragement rather than criticism. This form of positive communication involves some basic habits: being intentionally gentle, listening intently and validating our spouse. Through encouragement, we can bring about change, growth and the fulfillment of potential. We awaken the feeling, Someone believes in me!
You may think of encouragement as praise and reinforcement, but it’s more than that. Praise is limited; it’s a verbal reward. Praise emphasizes competition, has to be earned and is often given for being the best. Encouragement is given freely. It can involve noticing something in a person that others take for granted or affirming something that others notice but never think of mentioning. Encouraging your spouse through positive communication can change his or her entire approach to life. A Marriage Encounter Weekend helps couples simply through better communication.
We talked to two couples who were recently encountered to share their experiences, Stephen & Catherine Woodruff and John & Sarai Vega:
Question #1: When did you first get encountered’?
• Woodruff’s: November 2017
• Vega’s: November 2017
Questions #2: How has ME changed your relationship?
• Woodruff’s: ME gave us new tools and insights to better communicate and understand each
other. It has helped us to have fewer conflicts, and when we do find ourselves at odds with each other, our conflicts are usually less intense and of shorter duration. Our relationship was good before we went to ME, but ME really has enriched our marriage.
• Vega’s: We thought it would be a good marriage resource to keep strengthening our relationship. It was recommended by a friend as a positive experience. The getaway was a wonderful plus as well.
Question #3: What was an unexpected result from finishing the ME Weekend?
• Woodruff’s: ME weekend is an intense emotional experience in which couples share deeply
their feelings and thoughts. We got to know each other much more deeply than we had ever imagined. The ME weekend made us realize how very important each of us is to the other. It really is an eye-opener and we came to better understand why each of us behaves in certain ways and is irritated or annoyed in our own idiosyncratic ways. Things which bother us came to be less important than our decision to love each other and love our marriage even more.
Question #4: Why do we want our friends/ family to experience an ME Weekend?
• Vega’s: We want them to benefit from all the tools that ME has to offer, such as better communication skills. ME taught us how to express our feelings in a more clear and visual way through writing.
Question #5: What do we want other couples to know about ME?
• Woodruff’s: We would like other couples to know that ME truly empowers couples to make and
reinforce their choice to make their marriage matter. The most important persons in a marriage are not the children; it is the husband and wife. Without the communication, understanding, and commitment to respect and help meet each other’s needs, parents cannot fully provide the support, understanding, and example the children need to genuinely thrive. ME strengthens marriages and builds families.
Question #6: How has ME changed our relationship since our Weekend?
• Vega’s: ME helped us to take a step back to recognize, acknowledge and understand the other’s
feelings and thoughts. It taught us patience.
Question #7: What has been the greatest benefit of not only participating in the initial ME Weekend but also joining the ME Community?
• Woodruff’s: One thing we never expected or thought about was that doing the ME weekend would be much more than just a weekend of enrichment. ME weekend is really a beginning, an introduction a very special community of couples that support and share with each other. The ME community provides many opportunities to practice what we have learned and to continue to develop our skills. Through the ME community, we have gotten close to people we had never met before, shared experiences, and continued to build our shared commitment to strong marriages. We also share great food!
• Vega’s: We have not been able to join the ME community as much because of our busy schedules. But when we do hangout with other ME participants, it feels great to be surrounded by people who cherish the same important principles about marriage and family.
Marriage Encounter starts with a Weekend at a hotel, away from everyday distractions, tensions and commitments including work, children, relatives, sports and TV/multi-media. In our daily lives, we rarely spend enough quality time with our spouses as our responsibilities to provide ends’ meet, care for our children and elderly parents overwhelm our schedules. The M.E. Weekend is a constructive and personal experience offering married couples an opportunity to learn a technique of loving communication that they can use for the rest of their lives. It’s a time to share their feelings, hopes and dreams with each other.
The emphasis of the M.E. Weekend is on the communication between husbands and wives. The Weekend provides a conducive environment for couples to spend time together, encouraging them to focus on each other and their relationship. It’s not a retreat, marriage clinic or substitute for counseling. Couples are not required to share anything with anyone else. It’s a unique approach aimed at revitalizing marriage so it truly is a marriage enrichment program.
The next CNMI M.E. Weekend is on November 16-18, 2018 at the Fiesta Resort & Spa Saipan in Garapan. The cost is $100 per couple and includes two nights’ accommodation, five meals and all materials. HURRY! Space is limited to 15 couples. Submit an application form and payment (Checks payable to Worldwide Marriage Encounter) to call Joe & Linda Muna at 287-2102, email:cnmime@gmail.com or sign up online at https://goo.gl/YpNvd2.
