On Tuesday of this past week, Karidat joined other mem- bers of the Northern Marianas Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence at the proclamation signing by Gov. Ralph DLG Torres of February as “Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month.”
Marianas High School hosted the proclamation and the school Glee Club kicked off the event by singing the national anthem, followed by dance performances by the Chamorro and Carolinian dance groups. Attendees were given orange ribbon pins for the occasion and everyone was encouraged to look forward to signature February events such as the annual Poetry Slam.
Because violence is not only physical and coercion comes in different shapes and forms, it is important to be able to recognize the signs. In honor of the upcoming awareness month, we thought we would offer an overview of what to expect in a healthy relationship and review some of the com- mon forms of dating violence and abuse as well.
Characteristics of a healthy dating relationship:
- You can relax and have fun together
- You enjoy each other’s company but are happy to be apart, too Mutual trust
- You are comfortable (or at least free) to talk about the tough stuff (emotions, big decisions…)
- Each partner has an equal say in planning activities and/or outings Free choice whether or not to engage in kissing, etc.
- Respect for each other’s boundaries and preferences, and respect for their freedom to make their own choices (even if they aren’t the best choices).
Signs of an unhealthy relationship
- Name-calling
- Putting the partner down in public
- Love-bombing (flooding a new partner with compliments, gifts and attention, to an extreme and excessive degree)
- Demanding passwords (for email, social media, etc.)
- Controlling behaviors such as what clothing to wear or who will spend money
- Dishonesty
- Digital stalking (social media, text messages, etc.)
- Intimidating a partner into pursuing a diet, therapy or treatment that they are not comfortable with
- Pressure to have sex
- Pressure to spend all your time together
Characteristics of an Abusive Relationship
- Chronic lying
- Use of force (physical or sexual)
- Threats or games of manipulation
- Blame-shifting and refusal to take responsibility for past hurts
- Accusations
- Isolation from people you were once close to, feeling like you have no one to turn to for help
Portions of this were inspired by information found on loveisre- spect.org where you can find many more resources for identifying and confronting unhealthy or abusive behaviors.
If you or someone you know is trapped in a violent or abusive relationship and you need help, our 24-hour Victim Hotline number is: 234-5100.