Back in the 80’s I visited many Micronesian communities conducting planning workshops with grants from the Department of Justice, Juvenile Justice Program. The idea was to gather representatives of the local community in each locality and have them identify their core values, gaps in the community, vision for the future and how to achieve that vision. Each workshop took about a week but by the end there was a fair number of excellent ideas produced and the projects that flowed from those ideas had a positive impact on the community.
I mention those planning workshops because a value that was mentioned consistently throughout the Micronesian Islands was respect. From what I have observed over the years and from what I have been told, respect is the glue that holds the community together.
Your actions earned respect when you put the welfare of others above your own benefit.
You give respect to others but in most cases, they had earned the respect. The elderly members of the community were respected because of their many years of experience and resulting wisdom. Village leaders who dedicated their skills to the benefit of the community were respected as well. When men went fishing and shared their catch with the infirm, crippled, elderly, and widows; really, anyone who was unable to fish, they were respected.
Your actions earned respect when you put the welfare of others above your own benefit. Your actions earned respect when you acknowledged that you could be a better person because of what other had done for you. In a sense, respect is the virtue of gratitude given expression in our actions.
Showing respect for another is a sign that the other person is important to you. You want to maintain good relationships with others who are important to you. One way you do that is by being respectful toward them and assuming that, if they respond with a similar level of respect, then you can presume that you are important to them. Much of what is referred to as courtesy is simply the rules in that community for showing respect.
Disrespect communicates that others are not important to you. When you are rude to someone, even if you say nothing in words, your rude actions communicate your disparaging attitude toward that person. Lack of respect for the elderly or those physically limited in some way, shows your lack of empathy, as well as your narcissism. That is, you are unable to place yourself in the mindset of another because you focus only on yourself. Indeed, often you are unable to even perceive the needs of others.
Disrespect can be shown not only toward other people but toward groups of people or social institutions. In many traditional island communities there is a community house. In Palau they are called an “abai”. The community house is a place where meetings of community leaders are held, where parties can be held, as well as funerals, In Palau an abai is often covered in “story boards” which tell the tales of the island mythology. These are often considered “sacred” places because they embody the community in a tangible way. Showing disrespect toward a community house is taken as showing disrespect toward the community itself.
I’ve spoken of respect as a civic virtue, a glue that helps hold the community together. However, it can also be considered a religious virtue with theological roots.
A basic Christian belief is that we are made in God’s image. When one looks upon the face of his or her neighbor, in a sense you are looking upon the face of God. This idea is reinforced by Matthew 25, where Christ describes the Last Judgment. The idea that “what you do for the least of these, you do for me” dominates this religious image. Every human being is worthy of respect, if for no other reason that God loved this person enough to endure the sacrifice of the cross for him or her. When respect permeates every aspect of our Christian community, not only is our community strengthened but it gives a powerful witness to the Gospel. We are told to love one another, respect is a tangible way to live out that command.