Do you know the saying, “Familiarity breeds contempt”? Lately I have been considering why that saying has become so well-known.
Ordinarily, it is referring to the withering of happiness in a marriage or romantic relationship over time. After the initial closeness of a romance gives way to (inevitable) disappointments, sometimes partners close themselves off to love by holding onto grudges and resentments. Often a tally of wrongs is kept, whether consciously and unconsciously.
The same principle applies when people of different communities and backgrounds live in close proximity. There is a fondness that grows over time as we share each other’s traditions, foods, and holidays. “This is the way we do it in China (or Spain, or the Philippines)”. We share what we love with the people we love. But it can also turn sour and the temptation to keep a “record of wrongs” (1 Corinthians 13) can creep in if we do not keep watch over our own hearts.
There is a tendency to stereotype others which we must resist in ourselves. How many times have we heard someone say, “You don’t know “Those” people like I do… They’re all like that.” Or, “You don’t know him/her…he/she Always does that.”
This is wrong and it is a poison which will grow inside of us if we are not careful. This past week, Pope Francis visited the United Arab Emirates and met with Muslim leaders. They collaborated on and co-signed a Document on Human Fraternity.
By traveling out from Rome and by reaching out to find common ground with others outside of the Catholic faith community, the Holy Father has provided an example of how to leave behind our own comfort in order to find a peaceful “meeting place” with others.
The antidote to contempt is to foster gentleness and kindness, to speak words of welcome and acceptance and not to close the doors of dialogue.
May we all strive today, with God’s help, to follow that path.