Marriage and family life as a ministry priority (Part 2)

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In ancient times people thought in terms of a “hierarchy of being”. That is, all that existed could be placed on a hierarchy. The top of the hierarchy was God and beings of pure spirit, such as angels. As one worked their way down the hierarchy one moved from pure spirit to the realm of hybrid creatures, such as humans, who were a combination of both spirit and matter. At the bottom of the hierarchy was the realm of matter. The realm of the pure spirit was closest to the divine and considered the most valuable. The person who sought sanctity tried to rid himself or herself of ties to the material world and to seek only the spiritual. In reminding us that marriage is “established by the Creator”, we are reminded that material creation is no less valuable than the realm of pure spirit. Each realm may be different, but both are from the one God. Pope John Paul II would later explain that material creation is integral with the spiritual, as material creation makes visible and effective in the material world that which is spiritual. The point is that marriage is a uniquely spiritual reality, even amid its physicality and day-to-day material reality.

It is “rooted in the contract of its partners”, according to Gaudium et spes.  A marriage comes into being at the wedding. It is easy to imagine that at the wedding something is done to the couple at the exchange of vows that makes them a married couple.

Nothing is done “to the couple”, even if the officiant at the wedding is the pope. Rather, it is the couple themselves who minister the sacrament of matrimony to one another. It is in the exchange of consent to the marriage that the marriage comes into being and the sacrament is celebrated. Just as it is the couple who build the marriage relationship day by day, so also the couple, through their consent to the marriage, are the recognized ministers of the sacrament. The church describes marriage as a contract. This is not the most flowery of language, but it expresses a fundamental reality about marriage.

A contract is an agreement by at least two parties about a single arrangement. In the eyes of the church this contract is about the exchange of certain promises. First, the couple agrees to be open to the possibility of children. This includes an openness to fruitful sexual intercourse, since this is usually necessary if the parties are open to the possibility of children.  Second, the couple agrees to be faithful to each other for the rest of their lives, so long as both are alive. Third, the couple acknowledges that this contract they are entering is as permanent as anything in life. It is a contract that can only be escaped through death. Once consent s given, it cannot be taken back.

Gaudium et spes speaks of consent as a “human act”, which is more “church speech” that needs translated.  The Book of Genesis describes humans as being made in the image and likeness of God. This implies that we are not puppets on strings simply playing out a fate that has been decided for us. Rather, we can make free choices to go in one direction or another. To be truly free we must have some knowledge that we are making a choice and what options we are choosing between. However, in the end the decision is truly ours. We must also live with the consequences of that free choice, for that is a fundamental responsibility that comes with the ability to make decisions that shape our lives. Such an ability to make free choices is referred to as a “human act” because in making such decisions we are most God-like and are truly human. Marital consent is truly powerful. Not only is it our most God-like capability but it brings a sacrament into existence

When the Church has spoken about the purpose of marriage in the past it has tended to stress the propagation of children as a priority.  Gaudium et spes does not deny that this is an important purpose of marriage. However, it is made clear that this is just one of the purposes of marriage and that equally important purposes are the good of the spouses and the good of society. We must never forget that for the clear majority of human beings’ marriage is the school in which people learn to be saints and how to love, not just in theory but in practice.

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